Is that really your son, ma'am?

For no apparent reason - a notsogood picture of an elephant kicking me in the butt!

We have been traveling to Europe since before my children were born, so they are used to the drill. We like to think that our family is savvy at getting through the airports.

We all prepare ahead and my kids know that they are only allowed one suitcase each, which cannot exceed 50 lbs. We set out our scale for everyone to weigh their suitcases, switching out heavy important stuff with light important stuff. Everybody gets their ipods loaded and charged. Winter coats go into the checked luggage, so we aren't schlepping them through the airport. We make sure we have the chargers for the laptops, cameras, ipods, phones, etc.

We expect our children to be pros at getting through security. We even have a family competition to see who can make it through security the quickest.

When we arrive at the baggage check-in, the agent asks the routine questions, "did you pack your bags yourself?"

Husband: yes

Son: No - my mom packed for me.

Agent now pointedly directed at my husband: Were the suitcases ever out of your eysight?

Husband: no

Son: Yes they were - when you were looking for which way to go, you weren't looking at the suitcases!

Annoying? of course. Harmful? not really - he was just the annoying kid at this point.

But then she gets to the other questions -

Agent: Do you have any weapons in your baggage or anything that could be used as a weapon?

To a nine year old boy who bites his sandwiches into the shape of a gun, everything can be used as a weapon!

Soooooo . . . when we get to the first passport checkpoint.

For some reason this is where my son always freezes. The little boy so eager to talk and tell the truth, has become mute. For some reason, the officers always pick him to question. They never expect that we are kidnapping my daughter or that my husband has kidnapped me.

They begin their questions after looking at the passports. It usually starts with, "what's your name young man?"

My son looks off into the distance, tapping his chin and acting like he's trying to remember what name these people told him to use so he can get some candy!!!

Then they ask him where he's going.

Again with the stare into the distance and the chin tap, as we nudge him and say with teeth clenched, "grandma's, remember?"

Not suspicious at all, right? Somehow, we always make it onto the plane, but we just have to go through the whole thing again on the return trip.