Okay, okay . . . I might as well own up to it. I'm going to admit it. I know it's true. Deep breath, here we go:
I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent.
There, I said it.
When I first had my little babies, they were so cute and easy to snuggle. It all came so naturally to make sure they had food and sleep and . . . oh to be back there for those sweet times.
Fast forward to today. I have no idea how to handle a teenager or even my 9 year old. I feel like I am a teenager.
When I catch her 'chatting' with her friends on Facebook, and she's supposed to be defining terms for biology, what am I supposed to do? I have no idea.
As I sit here, typing in comments on blogs when I should be getting my husband's shirts out of the washer, so they don't get that sour smell, or wiping the kitchen counters, so the back cover of my book doesn't transpose itself there. I'm doing the same thing. Like mother, like daughter. She learned from the best.
By my senior year in college, I had the 'system' completely mastered. No classes on Fridays, Film Appreciation (watching movies) on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Human Sexuality on Mondays and Wednesdays, etc. It was awesome. Everyone I knew was in awe of my schedule. Isn't that what she's doing? Figuring out the system?
My son is 100% addicted to video games. The rest of his life is just superfluous and all about doing whatever he has to do to get back to his one true love - Mario Cart. He has to eat, sleep, do his school work and unload the silverware from the dishwasher - no problem, because somehow it will all lead to . . . (sound the trumpets, strum the harp) - maybe not today, but eventually - - - - - Mario Cart!!!!!!
What do I do? Give in to the indulgences? Get rid of all screened media in our household? (okay, you can forget that idea - we're all addicted) Restrict the times so I end up spending my life as a policeman? Lay guilt trips on them? Devise complicated charts and hoops to jump through in order to earn their respective addiction?
They actually used to be kind to one another!!!!I know they're great kids. Really, they are. It's just me that's screwy and messed them up.
11 comments:
Great post! Sounds like you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing....enjoying the ride of motherhood--there's no trip like it.
Hey, if she's got her grades and she still has time to internet, I wouldn't get in her way.
Kids DO figure out the system. My Engineer (21, going on 40) had High School so figured out that he never did homework.(He would, very occasionally, get up at 5am to finish something--and usually run out of printer paper and wake me up to get some). He graduated as valedictorian, got into one of his top 3 colleges, and is currently looking at grad school at MIT or Stanford.
(I'm not bragging. I'm not. I'm just passing on a little wisdom from the far end of the trenches).
The only problem was that his younger brothers watched this and thought that THEY could get away without doing homework. So they had a rocky semester or two.
You're doing it right. How often do you get to hear THAT, as a mother?
I have no idea what I'm doing either, and just hope there are many ways to do things well enough that they don't end up in therapy talking about how much they hate me in 10 or 20 yrs. or in jail.
you said it sista. i am right there with you
I totally agree! Ohhhh the screen addictions....we all have them here too. For me it's reading blogs and dropping Entrecards (and occasionally posting on my own!), for my 13 y.o. son it's video games (Super Smash Bros Brawl at the moment) and watching cartoons on YouTube, and my 17 y.o. dd always wants to go on RuneScape. How can I realistically control their screen time when I'm so into it myself? DS has even called me a hypocrite a few times! He's got a point.
Being a mom is the HARDEST job you will ever do in your life. Screw up just one time and you will never hear the end of it. Do your best and that's all you can hope for.
This whole post is frighteningly familiar to me. I'm trying not to worry about it too much- I think there are far worse parenting mistakes to make, and who knows? All that Mario Kart could be great training for racing careers.
@flawsnall - thanks for the encouragement. I'll try to 'enjoy' it more.
@The Mother - Thank you.
@Margo - well, therapy is probably a given. I better start working on the jail part.
@Amy oops - thanks, we have to stick together, right?
@Ruth - hypocrites unite!?
@ettarose - hardest in my life is an understatement.
@vic - great training for a racing career, or they will all have something to talk about in jail?
Cute kids! This is how mothering is, we make it up as we go, right. At least now we know that our own parents were doing their level best. Some days, the level's higher than others. Thank God kids are forgiving. And resilient. I once read that if you want your children to be creative, be sure to expose them to eccentric ladies and peculiar gentlemen. The kids will be fine. So will you. Thanks for the post, and the reminder that we're not alone.
I'm going out to find some eccentric ladies and peculiar gentlemen right now! Wait - I might be the eccentric lady.
LOL! So much the better!
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