Contest Entry

I recently read about a contest where you can win a 4 - 6 month trip travelling around Europe. Woohoo!!! This could be a short term solution to my teenager management issue. She could stay here with my 9 year old. Meanwhile, my husband could film a reality show about how he handles being a housewife without getting fired from his real job.

To win the contest, you had to answer a question in 200 words. The question was - what country would you most like to visit and why. It's a good thing I'm so knowledgeable about European countries and stuff like that!!!

Here's my entry:

Win a Travel Writing Holiday in Europe

I have wanted to visit Prague for many years. I know very little about Prague, but I do know that it's old. I know that it has been called 'the most beautiful city in Europe'. I don't have any idea who said it, but I understand that it's a convenient way to get your point across without using a direct reference.

I also know that German students travel to Prague for vacation. Since I am from the southeastern United States, this calls to mind crowded beaches and partying kids. I'll be sure to pack my bathing suit and my beer bong! As a 45 year old mother, I don't know where to buy a beer bong or even what one is. Hopefully, they sell them in Prague. After partying there, I can say 'Prague has been called the party capital of Europe'.

I know one person from the Czech Republic, and she has a funny accent. I wonder if all people who live there speak with a funny accent? This question would qualify as an important research topic. I can research this using a funny accent scale devised by myself. Then I can say 'Prague has been called the European city where people speak with the funniest accents.'

These must be Europeans partying, because they are wearing speedos!!!


Fog Piles

WWUD

Okay, I stopped to get gas around 11:30 am. I was blissfully in my own universe, oblivious to anything other than when my tank would be full so I could move on to my next adventure. I was rudely stirred out of my fog by calls of 'help me, help me'. Since I fancy myself as a sort of mild mannered superhero, I cannot ignore such calls.

I looked around to see a woman parked to the side of the lot in an suv with her windows rolled down. I began to walk towards her car when she said again, 'help me, I'm drunk!'

#@%&*. I'm already committed to help the poor sot because I walked halfway across the lot. I can't now turn around because she's drunk. So, I walk up to the open window and ask her what's going on.

First she tells me her hands are sticky, and she doesn't know what to do. I immediately tell her to crank up the car and get home. She should be at home or out in a night club, not in the gas station parking lot. She was wasting her good time! There are children around, for goodness sakes. She should be a good example for them by driving herself home!

Well, she didn't want to drive and just kept complaining about her sticky hands. I walked all the way back to my car to get her some wet wipes, hoping that was all she required from my superheroness. After giving her the wipes, she was surprised they were wet. Drunk people are so cute. Especially when they are over 60, overweight and haven't washed their hair in over a week. She still doesn't want to leave. Finally, I offer to buy her a cup of coffee. She agrees that she could use some coffee. After all she has a half  bottle of bourbon left and needs something to mix it with!



I left her with the coffee and the bourbon, hoping she would finish it off and finally head home. Superhero duty done for the day - it's a tough job being a mild-mannered superhero!



Fog Piles

Oh Girl

Okay, I have a 14 year old daughter. I always laughed with everyone else when anyone joked about their 'problems raising a teenager . . . blah blah blah'. I always thought it would be fun and funny to have a teenager.

In the last few weeks I discovered - this teenager stuff is crazy. I have no idea what to do with the alien that came in and took over my sweet angel's body.

Here are some strategies I have decided to climb my way through in order to survive:
1. Take away the toys (cell phone, wii, computer time, food, shelter, etc.)
2. Take away any social activities
3. Take away the teen's bedroom
4. Make teen sleep in tent outside
oops - that's how I got myself in loads of trouble as a teen


5. Give her extra chores
she never had time to do any because she spends hours and hours in the bathroom 'getting ready'
6. Log in on her facebook page and curse out all her friends
7. Let her do whatever she wants to do
8. Develop a close relationship with valium for the next four years

I'm just on #5 so far, but I'm soooo looking forward to #8

Yours,

Fog Piles

Funny

It's funny how much I love comedy - watching it live, reading it, hearing it or just reading funny blogs. I just can't figure out how they do it!

I did discover a favorite new blog that totally cracks me up - soccer mom files:
momjeans blogger

In honor of soccer mom and her pimp name, I decided to post my Palin name.
If I was Sarah Palin's daughter, my name would be Fog Piles Palin.

You can find your Palin name here:
baby name generator

Yours,

Fog Piles

Still lonely

He was supposed to be home on Thursday. His mother's situation didn't allow him to leave. He will now be home on Tuesday. I have 3 more nights alone(with the kids) waiting for him.

I feel like I am moving through pudding. I don't feel motivated. I hate to feel dependent on him.

His mother seems to be hiding behind her spiritual pursuits. Since we spent years doing the same, we can't really complain. Will the doctors in the hospital see through her excuses and strong exterior so that she can get real help? Will we be dealing with the mental illness for years to come?

When is a painting finished?

Is it done? It's always an issue I struggle with - probably with every piece of art I do.


When I am painting a piece for someone else, it is doubly difficult because I have to give the piece over and can't bust out my paints and brushes if I happen to visit and notice something in the piece that bothers me.


Hmmmmm . . . is it done?

Tea party

We're trying to get back into the 'school' mode. One of the schooling activities that brings us together and we all enjoy is the tea party. I discovered this idea from Julie Bogart's Bravewriter website, bravewriter.com. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to make any baked goods today. That's a huge bummer because I love to bake. So, we pulled together some chocolate covered pistachios, some sweet crabapples from our csa, some smores left over from last night.





Julie posts adorable pictures of homeschool families having tea time. My kids wouldn't let me take their pictures, so I only got these.

We started our tea time by each picking a poem to share by reading aloud. Then, we continued our reading of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. I had read another mother's attempt at getting her son to read this book. She could not get him to read it - he thought it was boring and dated. When she started reading it aloud to him (and he was 12 - way too old to admit to being read to), he started asking for it. I had the same experience when trying to get both of my kids to read it.

I went to dailylit.com and signed up to receive Huckleberry Finn per email daily - and it's free!!! I saved the emails, so we could read them during tea time. Now, it is hard to move on with our day, because we all want to hear about Huck's next round of mischief.

What happened?

I'm here. He's in Germany. I miss him. I can't sleep alone.

A part of me loves to stay up late and watch movies. Jerry Maguire happens to be on right now. It's such a great movie - one of the few I don't mind watching again. I'd rather be getting a good snuggly night sleep.

Enter cheesey line from Jerry Maguire - 'he completes me or show me the money or he had me at hello'

Only 3 more nights alone - after tonight!