Sunday, April 19, 2009

Story of a Princess

This story is based entirely on actual events that have occurred in the life of my friend, Gem and her boyfriend, Duke.

Gem was born in a small town in Georgia. Gem was always bigger than the life she was born into. She loves to travel and has an appreciation for the finer things in life.

Into Gem's life, Duke sauntered. Duke was born in Nigeria to a prominent family. He is now living in Georgia and in Nigeria, where he maintains three homes.

Life in Nigeria is far different than life in America. Duke is accustomed to such things as having his underwear ironed. He has one person on his staff in one of his homes whose only job is to reset the switch (equivalent to flipping a breaker) whenever the power goes out.

Duke quickly swept Gem off her feet and they were drawn together into a full-swing romance, traveling frequently all over Europe and Africa.

After a year together, they decided to establish Duke's American residence in Gem's home. They officially moved in together, though he still had his three homes in Nigeria and work there kept him in Africa quite often.

During one particular extended stay, Duke walked into their Georgia home from the garage. He was overtly upset as he slammed the door.

He said to Gem, "something's wrong with the light in the garage."

She asked, "is the lightbulb burned out?"

He said, "I don't know. Can you get somebody to fix it?"

Upon further inspection, Gem realized it was simply a matter of changing a light bulb.

Gem said to Duke, "I'm on my way out. You can change the bulb - there are new bulbs in the cabinet, " and she left.

Duke was panicked. Duke had no idea how to change a lightbulb. Duke went to Gem's twelve year-old-niece and asked her how to change the lightbulb.

I dont' think I have to spell out who the actual princess is in this story.

I must admit. My son is afraid of any work. What I'm really saying here is, "I'm afraid my son may also be a princess."


Staci said...

Hey, now. Some people in Georgia do iron their underwear. I'm not one of them, but I rarely iron anything these days.

Now you should have said they didn't have a light bulb, being that it was Georgia. They only had a candle, and Duke didn't know how to light a match.

flawsnall said...

Yeah...the last time i ironed was more than...near...20 plus years ago when i had to iron my daughter's brownie uniform. even now...we spray-bottle with softner diluted with water...shake out and go...'s kinda like stockings and church...who does that anymore...?

Shawn said...

I think Duke emailed me last month regarding some funds he needed to get out of the country.

$10,000 later, and I still haven't heard back...

lilaphase said...

@Staci - He probably doesn't know how to light a match, but he would know how to ask someone to light a match!

@flawsnall - when I let something get wrinkled, I'm more likely to rewash it than dig out the iron.

@Shawn - Duke said he only needs another $10,000 - due to bureaucratic complications - when you send him more, you will definitely get your money!

The Mother said...

If you are afraid your son is a princess, I strongly recommend you find a small dungeon to remand him too until he figures out that life just isn't like that.

Then heap on the chores until he gets it.

Jen said...

I know my son can change a light bulb but I am sure the girl cannot. I'm all for sticking both of them in a castle tower until they figure that shit out. As for your

Pricilla said...

Iron, iron?
Boy is your friend in for an education.
And so is her Duke.
I want a staff.

lilaphase said...

@The Mother - Hmmmm - a dungeon, great idea!

@Jen - Hmmmm - a castle tower, also great idea.

@Priscilla - I have some advice - please don't go near anyone from Africa. If a stranger from Africa offers you candy, scream (or bleet?) and run the other way as fast as your legs will carry you!!!

Marie said...

Too funny.

That is a great story!