Saturday, January 31, 2009

People Unite



I apologize that I have to veer from my generally mundane post to address an issue of great concern. I try to veer away from politics as much as possible, but there is a movement that is growing. This movement could change our lives forever unless we stand up and act now.

I happened across this blog a few months ago, which is a, if not THE, gathering place for people taking part in this movement.

They call themselves the League for the Suppression of Celery. I have snuck over to secretly spy a few times and discovered that they are trying to eradicate (or irradiate?) celery!

Do you believe this?

Please, if you believe in all that is good about celery go over and let them know the facts. Let them know how great celery is and that we won’t stand by while they sneak about rallying people against that green noble vegetable.

Think about it, celery is great. Celery is . . . ummm,


okay,


celery is crunchy! yeah, what would we do without the crunchiness of celery?


and . . .


well


celery takes more calories to digest than it contains! So there! Celery IS good.




Just imagine trying to explain the lovely crunch to your grandchildren who will never have the opportunity to experience it.

Now is the time to take action. I’m urging you in the name of all that is thin and green and crunchy. Please go to this site and pepper it liberally with your praises of celery.

note: I have to warn you that they may follow you. Here is what happened to me.

Perhaps we can stop the madness before it’s too late.

How about People for the Ethical Treatment of Celery?


Anyone?

11 comments:

Staci said...

I can't believe people don't have better things to do than attack an innocent vegetable stalk. Remember when we were kids and we had Ants on a Log, which was celery with peanut butter as the log and raisins as the ants. Maybe the blogger's mom would never make her one or she was allergic to peanut butter. It's that or someone has some serious Freudian stuff going on.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

That blog cracks me up!

Jen said...

I've seen this one and have been perplexed by it. I like celery for all the reasons you listed in your post. If they want to get rid of a veggie then please eradicate Brussels sprouts or rutabagas. No one likes those.

I'm intrigued with the militant aspect of the celery haters.

ArtSparker said...

Hmmm..people spending too much time in THAT workshop?

Wendy said...

Obviously, none of you have been reading the literature or else you would not call this diabolical weed an "innocent vegetable". As far as that Freudian stuff... it could be in that I bet Freud was a celery-hater too as he amassed many valuable insights in his lifetime.

Also, regarding people implying the militant aspects of the LSC, definitely not. You have us confused with the fundamentalists (the fLSC) which is a completely different group. We teach non-violent activism through education. We do acknowledge that it's a free country and all of you are allowed to eat celery at will despite it being despicable and vomitous. It's not my place to tell you how short-sighted and reckless you're being.

lilaphase said...

Okay y'all. Be cool. Don't buy into the propaganda.

Stay strong!

Together, we can help the noble celery maintain it's reputation as a valuable member of the vegetable family!

Unknown said...

roflmao, I love celery, celery with peanut butter, celery with cream cheese, celery in my soup, celery in my stew....it's all celery baby.

Wendy said...

Stacie, the problem is you are under the influence of something more chemically powerful than you. Celery has organic compounds that make people weak to resist its affects over time. This is really quite common in the plant world... for example, tobacco, marijuana, etc. It's legal now, but in a few years legislation will be passed when people realize the seriousness of the effects of this "legalized" drug.

Don't kid yourself that you can use it and still be a productive member of society.

Ranran said...

hey, nice site! i'm kinda a newbie in this blogging stuff so i'll appreciate it if you drop by my site and/or leave a comment. i really enjoyed reading your posts. ;-)

i can also have your blog URL linked to my site is you want so to increase your blog traffic.

thanks! keep it up!

lilaphase said...

Wendy - that last comment is actually making me want to go out and 'do' a boatload of celery!

Anonymous said...

Just signed on for your feed so I'm reading some of your older posts. Have you happened on this site in your travels? http://www.ihatecilantro.com/